What I learned about myself in 2015

 

2015 was a pretty incredible year which taught me to embrace my own personal change and go after my dreams. This meant shaking off some old beliefs that had stopped me in tracks before and using my new found energy to be curious and explore who I am and what brings me the simplest and purest forms of happiness.

Play

Albert Einstein once said “play is the highest form of research” and how right he was. Playtime last year gave me a real opportunity to learn about my body, it’s strengths, it’s weaknesses, but most importantly how capable it is. My body is where I live everyday, last year was all about learning how I can love it and nurture it as naturally as possible.

Yoga, partner yoga and acro yoga has enabled me to explore how my body moves, but the biggest learning for me is understanding how my body mirrors how I am feeling. If I am content, happy and at ease, I notice my body moves with greater flexibility. Many a time though I have had tight hips from trapped emotions. Through loosening them hot tears have erupted, streaming down my face. I have learned to just let them roll, it is better to feel and experience the emotion then storing it deep within your body.

New friendships

Your vibe attracts your tribe remember? I was blessed with so many new friendships in 2015. Bonding through movement, through yoga and through becoming better friends with our own bodies. Together we have laughed and cried and at times shared intimate moments with one another that we’ll never experience again. We don’t just move, we talk and we share what’s going on in our lives, reflecting and finding solutions to life’s little problems

Old friendships

“We didn’t know we were making memories, we just thought we were having fun”

I had that inscribed on a friend’s 30th birthday print and it still makes me cry now. I am hugely grateful to have a wonderful groups of girlfriends who I met at playgroup, at school and at university. Sometimes we see each other weekly, sometimes monthly, some I haven’t seen for a whole year. It doesn’t matter, there will always be a huge part of my heart devoted to each and everyone of them.

Probably the most poignant time for me was on the dancefloor at a winter wedding a few days ago. All my closest friends from school were rocking out to R’n’B, Motown, soul and funk, just like the good old days in our favourite haunt the Honey Club in Brighton. Each of us have gone through so many changes but in our hearts we will always be 18.

My colleagues

Love them. I am so lucky to work in a team who cares so deeply about one another. We are fiercely protective of each other and we always know when something is up and make sure that person is supported. When you spend so much of your life working, it’s vital that you feel comfortable to be yourself. I’m grateful that I can be ‘me’ every day and that together we have created a productive, yet comfortable environment where we can all be ourselves.

Travel

I have been lucky enough to see much more of the world this year. Sri Lanka, Stockholm, Ibiza, Madrid, Tolon, Cassis and New York. All with my nearest and dearest. Madrid for my 30th birthday with my husband and best friends was incredible. One beautiful city, with a cosy and lazy local Spanish town vibe. My favourite moment was learning to dance Flamenco in a local dance school, located in a quiet street of suburban Madrid. Learning this style of dance has been a life-long dream. We learned the basics from an incredible dancer, in very broken English and Spanish! Flamenco is all about rhythm and feeling emotion, pushing it out through your feet. Sexy, sultry and passionate, our teacher was pure sass, exactly how I expected an authentic flamenco dancer to be. It was an absolute honour to be taught by her.

New home

The Bend Fit Mend studio in Brighton has become my other home. Through practising yoga there I become part of the kindest, gentle-hearted and supportive community I have ever experienced. We come to stretch our bodies for a variety of different reasons and we all have a varying degree of flexibility and strength. It’s never been about competing, we have all always shown love and support to one another. You have to wonder what it is that brought us all together. The answer is Amanda who owns the studio. Her sessions allow as to access new degrees of flexibility and understanding of our bodies that we could never find before. Her warm welcome, love and patience make us feel at ease and confident to put our all into the sessions, enabling us to achieve more than we ever thought we could. Her understanding and simple translation of our own anatomy brings us closer to ourselves in wonderfully restorative haven.

The journey of unbecoming

I’m still learning about me. I’m still learning to be be brave and follow my heart. As we grow up we absorb other people’s and societies beliefs, ways of life, expectations and fears. This can help us create the lives that we dream of and push us to strive for more. Sometimes though, it can make us unhappy, we start to feel as though this isn’t really what we what. I feel in 2015 I became more in tune with my intuition and I’m becoming better at observing the behaviours and expectations that no longer serve me positively.

Therapist

Last Autumn I made the decision to grow in my role as hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner. Nothing makes me more joyful. Being able to hold a safe space for my clients as I help them to relieve what has been troubling them on such a deep level is something that is very dear to my heart. Seeing the difference in my clients has they facilitate their own healing with my support is a wonder. Observing them set themselves free has been such an honour and I can’t wait to help many more this year.

Vegan girl

One of the best decisions of my life. Choosing to eat a plant-based vegan diet was a 10 month long chapter for me and I’m still learning. Overnight I stopped eating meat and dairy and transitioned to the green side. It’s been emotional on many different levels. Changing the way you eat after 29 years is a biggie. In my heart I never once doubted my decision, because my body and mind felt stronger for doing so. I chose to go vegan for my health, for the environment and for animals. When I began my journey it was very much about my bodies wellness but overtime by motivation has become more ethically focused.

I am so thankful for all of the support I have received during the last ten months. For my friends who have asked me asked me how it’s going day to day, to my vegan mentor Linnea who is totally badass and taught me so much about totally embracing this way of life. For friends and family who have been kind enough to source food I can eat when visiting them and trying out new recipes so we can eat together. You’ll probably never know how much that means to me and how much I love you for being so thoughtful and generous to me.

Hx

Your vibe attracts your tribe – how to build great friendships at the gym

I have met so many amazing people from just smiling and moving; it’s a universal language.

Chris Odle 

Goofy smiles shared by friends – between 7am and 8.30am everyday we have the time of our lives

Gyms and exercise classes can create the most incredible little pockets of community. I never anticipated that I would be make so many intimate friendships in my late twenties. By attending regular gym classes I have met new people who have given me the opportunity to uncover things about myself and my body that I didn’t know existed – my love for movement and yoga are two of them.

In my experience, friendships formed at the gym can help us to peel back a layer of ourselves and reveal passions, motivations and strengths we aren’t aware of. They can also help us to understand the old beliefs we hold about ourselves, that no longer serve us and are holding us back. Friends do this by supporting us to challenge what we think our bodies are capable of and help us to stay focused on our goals.

These types of friends sound pretty rad right? Here’s the magic formula to finding them….

1. Smile

It’s so simple but smiling actually makes all the difference. When I work out at 7am, the members at my gym see me in my truest and rawest form – sleepy, scruffy hair and likely to still be rubbing sleepies out of my eyes. I sound delicious right? Seriously though, a big smile can enable us to all transform, and a grin alongside a simple “morning” and an upbeat “how are you doing” will put anyone at ease. Start doing this and see what happens over time.

I smile and acknowledge everyone, sometimes people don’t always smile back but you’ll find that in time, they will do. Be gently persistent, people can feel really shy and vulnerable at the gym.

2. Find the busiest classes

If you see a large group of people working out together in a freestyle area or in an exercise class and they all look like they’re having a super time, ask them why. Ask them what’s good about it and what other classes or sessions they recommend. If you decide to attend the next time it’s on, you can thank them for it and ask them how they’ve been. Just from that alone you’ve built a connection.

3. Choose the time of day that you can regularly workout

Consistency is everything. If there is a certain time of day that only works for you (generally it will be around work or childcare) the chances are, it will be the same for others members. Pick one time of day and you’ll meet a group of people who you have something in common with immediately.

I go to the gym in the mornings before work and the people who I have bonded with have made the same lifestyle choice. Through busy times at work, through the dark mornings, the wind and the rain we all keep a check on each other. It makes all the difference to know that when you’re feeling tired and cold on a train first thing in the morning that there is a friendly face or two, waiting for you in the gym.

4. Chat with the class instructors or gym staff

Class instructors and gym staff are at the center of it all. Introduce yourself when they ask is anyone new to the class and say thank you when the class finishes. This group of people help nurture and grow the whole gym community and they are a great contact to have. By building a connection with them you’ll be introduced to other like-minded people.

5. Approach the people that inspire you

I never thought I would want to make shapes like this, let alone be able to do it six months ago

Never be intimidated by the people that inspire you in the gym – remember they were exactly where you are now at some point in their fitness journey. Comment on whatever it is they’re doing that inspires you and even consider asking them for advice on how you can progress. In my experience, people will always take the time out to share their tips with you. You never know where asking a simple conversation may lead you too.

Don’t ever feel as though you can’t approach the person who is looking super serious as they stretch on the mat beside you. Like me, it’s probably just their concentration face when actually they’d probably much rather chat as they stretch to pass the time.

6. Chat

I love working out, but I love it more when I’ve had a quick chat at the start of class with some of the regulars. By talking, we are connecting and when we’re connected we feel part of something more powerful than just ourselves – it feels like we’re truly in it together. It’s that feeling of being in a team that makes you work and sweat harder.

7. Don’t rush off

Sticking around after class to continue to stretch or play is the perfect time to bond. If you’re working towards something in particular – whether it’s strength, flexibility or endurance, share your dream with the people that surround you. Both staff and members can be an amazing resource for advice and tips – their passion might also give you the bug to try something new. Perhaps you haven’t considered doing what it is they’re doing, perhaps you thought you’d never be capable. Now though, through your newly established network you have the support to give it a try.

8. Compliment others

If you’ve noticed someone making leaps and bounds in their training, tell them. If you are jealous of their outrageously cool leggings, tell them. If they nailed their dancer’s pose beautifully, tell them. If they’ve moved up a weight, recognise their achievement by telling them. If you know they’ve done a 5km run at the weekend, ask them how it went and congratulate them.

Little compliments like these will lift people’s hearts and they’ll leave the gym with a spring in their step. They’re also more likely to stop and have a chat with you next time they see you.

9. Give someone a hand

You don’t always have to be an expert to help someone correct their posture, or try a new stretch that will do them a world of good. If you can do what they’re trying to do and you have the confidence and knowledge to deliver some helpful advice, share it. Seeing someone nail a yoga posture or a kettlebell swing based on the advice you have given is the best feeling in the world and better still it helps create trust which is the perfect foundation for friendship.

Share your love of what you do and inspire others

10. Welcome new members

Finally, be kind. Smile and acknowledge people who haven’t attended the class before. We all know what an instant relief it is when someone acknowledges our presence when we’re new and feeling nervous.

Just a mix of good old fashioned manners, kindness and enthusiasm can help you to meet amazing people who in time may become truly wonderful friends.

Hx